FT Bankers peom - a sea shanty in the making

This is a copy of the FT's excellent peom - I'd love it someone would put this to music - perhaps a piratey sea-shanty would be appropriate!

There was a time when naughty boys
Would have to forfeit all their toys,
And go to bed without their food
To force a new, repentant mood
Upon the wretched little toads,
Who flouted our great social codes.


Nor was blind arrogance a trait
That parents liked to inculcate.
They had regard for social graces:
Not for their offsprings’ haughty faces.
A beastly child engaged in folly
Would surely have to say: “I’m sorry!”

Same old RBS crap! Extra-ordinary resolution at an AGM or EGM please!

Well it seems that the gun-to-the-head bully-boy tactics of the investment banking community have returned again.
Using the same old scare-mongering tactics - out best and brightest need to be paid this in order to stay.

Bankers - a word of praise

I have been pretty harsh about some bankers in my recent posts. I feel I should explain my position before someone rants back at me.

There are a great many bankers out there who do an excellent job and provide a vital function within society (however like almost all walks of life there are also the lazy, stupid or otherwise useless ones as well).
The credit crunch was not caused by the majority who have diligently assessed the credit worthness of businesses and individuals alike and leant either responsibly or have been forced by market conditions to lend at the slightly riskier end.

Excuse Me Whilst I Step Outside: Banks : Too Big Too Ignore

Excuse Me Whilst I Step Outside: Banks : Too Big Too Ignore

This is an interesting read - worth checking out

"We need our big bonuses or London will suffer, say bankers"

The above is a headline from the Independent today.
Honestly, the arrogance is astounding!

I think it is fairly well established that the exorbitant bonus culture that has been prevailing in the City of London, amongst other financial centres has been largely responsible for the situation we currently find ourselves in.

Lets just analyse the statement though.

The chain of logic is as follows

No more big bonuses for banks - compensation, however...

Honestly, you'd think that bankers would be feeling just a little bit embarrased at the moment (an many I know are). Not so for Anthony Jenkins, CEO of Barclaycard! The Times reports today "The chief executive of Barclaycard, Antony Jenkins, was paid several million pounds in compensation for not receiving a promotion that he had been promised"

Words almost fail me.
Almost.

Kind words

Praise indeed from a man of an accute intellect and fine moral standing

(appologies - I have been watching too much of the Forsyte Saga recently and seem to be dropping into psudo-victorian sentences...)

His is the first blog I ever really followed, and after commenting a few time on his website, felt compelled to start my own

Thanks Richard - you may be the first person to have actually read my blog - I've no idea whether people are visiting and reading - its all rather new to me and of course early days...

"Guaranteed bonus" - that's not a bonus - its just salary!

The Times reports today about how the new FSA code allows for wriggle room in bonuses stating "David Berman, a partner at Macfarlanes, said: “The FSA has opted to leave the term ‘guaranteed bonus’ undefined. This could provide an opportunity for banks to say a bonus is not really guaranteed if there are some ‘unlikely-to-be-triggered non-payment caveats’.”

Is it just me or does the term bonus connotate the idea of some sort of contingency? If you take away this element contingency (presumably relating to hitting some well defined, vaguely challenging and beneficial targets that the individual has some sort of influence over, although, given the history in the city, perhaps not), you're just left with.....

SALARY...

False justification for the dismantling of final salary pension schemes

The BBC reported that KPMG predicts 22% of FTSE 100 companies "will be unable to pay off their pension deficits".
The report continues...
"The accountancy firm KPMG says 22% of the firms in the FTSE 100 share index will not have enough spare cash to make the necessary payments.
It says this will prompt many more big firms to close their final-salary schemes to existing members of staff."

I've said this many times before, but I will repeat - I'm sure that this recession has been talked up to for the purposes of the powerful.

We're out of recession? - don't you believe it!

The BBC, amongst others reported today
"The French and German economies both grew by 0.3% between April and June, bringing to an end year-long recessions in Europe's largest economies."
Whilst technically (i.e. the arbirary cut-off point has been hit) this doesn't really mean anything.
More companie's go under on the way out of a recession than on the way in - which really, if the above is to be believed - the pain has just started.

It is questionable how accurate these figures are - it takes time before the economists actually have a decent idea of what has actually just happened -time will tell whether these figures stack up